Category Archives: love

Time to Change the Rhyme

My life is like a rhyme
It’s repetitive and compulsive

One line begins and the chapter ends
Repeat, Repeat, Repeat
This rhyme sticks
I’m just with a different kind of prick

Line after line
I’m playing the same rhyme
But in another time

The only comfort in this is the wine
Different glass
Different colour
But I can always rely
On the rhyme

Crime of this time
Not taken seriously
Not now and not before my time

Living in misery and fear
Living with
The liar
The jailer
The headworker
The sexual controller

I like to think he’s sincere
It’s just me
I’ve got the fear
It’s me
I’m hard work
I’m useless
I’m destroying us
I have a drink problem
But the problem isn’t me or the drink
The problem is the rhyme

I need to get out of this loop
But it would seem I’m still continuing
To jump through the hoop

When in my head
I don’t know what’s true

Alarm bells ringing
Paranoia singing
Stick with the instinct
This must be intrinsic

Not much has changed in time
We DO NOT need to abide
To his cruelty and torture
I’m going to change my future
Starting with a fresh rhyme


Where is the lust?
Where is the compliments?
Where is the look of love or attraction?

All I see is sleaze
Begging me for sex
With those needy eyes
Crying out please
I need some sort of release
Come on woman
You know you like to please
You know you like to keep the peace
So, let me have this release

Then I will be happy
I will be happy about work
I will be happy about the house
I will most importantly be happy with you
As next time I am like this
You will know exactly what to do
The role you must partake

Unlucky for you
As I won’t be your whore
Not today, tomorrow or anymore
I see it, what you are doing to me
For this certainly isn’t the first time
I’m no longer walking your line
I should have listened to my instinct
This is the end
Here is your release

Fight of the Burning Light

The flame is lit
This time just a little bit
Flicker by flicker
Keeping the flame alive
Not understanding the hidden demise of my mind
Ailments, confusion, delusions
Not trusting one’s thoughts
There is still the flicker of the light
Things don’t seem right
Not leaving the house
Not a visitor in sight
Flicker by flicker
Questions, questions, questions
Not being able to find the answers
Charming and flirtatious
Shouting and then the glare
Then comes hysteria and fear
Do this, don’t do that
Are you doing it right?
Did I do it right?

Striking the match
The goal is in sight
I blink
That can’t be right
I no longer have any goals
All out of my reach
He is deceitful
He is the one holding the light

Distance makes the Heart Follow

Both there, but not there
She goes off into her usual stare
This night he decides he doesn’t care
From that night
These two just haven’t been right
What’s with that?
What’s the facts?
For she doesn’t know, and he won’t say
They’ve both given up the drink and weed
Is that something he needs to succeed?
They’ve only ever known each other from the other side of the glass
Yes, things have changed
Will they get through the exchange?
They are unarranged
No order, no lust
She thinks he only wants the thrust
Has their love expired?
Does he find her attractive, sexy or hot?
Or is it she’s thinking too much about that?
Will he ever open up and share his feelings?
Or does he continue to keep her reeling?
It leaves her with uncertainty
Nothing to believe in
It’s the most horrid of feelings

He talks the words that are expected
He sits quietly
She knows he’s projecting
She sits in her usual daze
She has felt happier days

Their lockdown time maybe their biggest, scariest time yet
But her lockdown started long ago

She has released herself from the sorrow
For his heart is hollow

War of the Mind

Barricaded in
Feeling no emotion or pain
I’m in lockdown
The wall is defending me of
The love wars
The thought wars
The emotion wars
The bricks and cement stay strong
No words
No kindness
No guilt
Is letting him in
Or letting it crumble
He seems all humble
But I will not allow him to eat the pie

You hurt me
You see
I am depressed
I am sad
I am tired
I am scared

My guilt of not wanting to make love
It shouldn’t be just a release
Love making is for sharing
Caring and much more
To be at one with one another
Three days pass
Your hormones you cannot control
But the emotion should be more

You never have to ask you say
My gut told me to ask
But I hear those words you say
My minds back at war
Should I ask?
Will he think I’m nuts?
I’m just paranoid
In this man I trust
He said he wouldn’t do it again
Get this in your head then

I finally asked
He admitted he committed the act

Horny I am not
Numb is what I am
I try, I try
I want to cry
I want to be
But I’m just not

How does he find me attractive when I am like this?
I want to kiss and cuddle
Feel safe and secure
He’s horny
That’s for sure
Subtle he is not
All he does is try and try
I want to cry

The war is exhausting
Say nothing
Stay in lockdown
The defence is working
The wall isn’t about to fall
Barricaded in
Who will win?

Forgetting Who I am

Not recognising myself in the mirror
Looking at myself with somebody else’s eyes
How I have been disguised?
But today I opened selfie mode
My identity is what I see through my eyes

I’ve been lost for some time
My feelings I’ve had to hide
Just joining somebody else’s ride
Only doing what was prescribed
That prescription has expired

Release of the inner peace
That’s been held in far too deep
I allow myself to weep
For the loss of my soul

The independent woman I once was has returned
I was once blind
When I didn’t want to see
I was once deaf
When I didn’t want to hear

Now I’m ready to return to the wild
Solo ride

I’ve emptied the gas
I’ve blown out the light

Natural Destruction

Sitting at her desk. Lonely and cold, her husband still lying in their warm bed. The thoughts whirling in her mind. There’s no one that she can share her thoughts with. Her fears. Her dreams. Her nightmares of day and night. The fight is hers and hers alone.
The wind today is fierce just like her mood. She tries to run against the strong current of all the despair. The earth, the trees, the leaves, the darkness joins her race. But everything has its own pace.

Movement, improvement
No words for anyone to hear
Falls on a deaf ear

The branches are destroyed. They snap, crack away from the tree. Alone, left lying on the road. A motor runs over the branch. It snaps, cracks, splinters and the branch are no more.

The stare becomes bare
Bumble bees, hornets and wasps
Pierced by the sting

She’s bewildered by the people, the earth and the trees. Natural destruction. Elimination of all of those things. She feels the separation between life and loss. The roots run deeper, thicker, swelling underground clinging vigorously to mother earth.

The paper is a
Pure relief. Writing shadows
Of grief. A release.


The sun is shining
Life is just fine
I don’t have any darkness on my mind

This poem needs to be happy, positive and light
I’m not going to write about any kind of conflict

The roses they rise
With a beauty
With no disguise
They flourish from springs delight

The sheep and the lambs graze
After which they laze
On these beautiful sunny days

I’m not writing about anything raw
Nor the challenges of life’s reality

The mountains greenery
Set the most idyllic scenery
The trees thicken and bloom

I’m really not going to share any gloom
Looking from the window in my bedroom

It’s full of light this life
Full of hope
No need to talk about the slippery slope

Take in the positivity of the the daily horoscope
Don’t let the negativity evoke

Different strokes
Thoughts provoke
Different emotions
Depending on the potion

This is a happy poem
As you can see

Inspired by my hubby who reads my poetry and tells me I’m dark, so I dedicate this to him.

The Need to Provide

I am the squirrel named Scruffy
That’s what they call me anyway
I live on Amity mountain
There are many of us that live here
It’s a beautiful scene as you can imagine
But the beautiful scenery doesn’t take away my misery

I feel the strain of providing for my family
The kittens have arrived
My role now is to provide
I go out and garner
I don’t feel like it today
Or in fact any other day

The beady eyes look down on me from the skies above
I’m looking for seeds, fruits and nuts
They are looking for me
I am paranoid
I am scared
Its autumn you see
I need to forage ready for winter

There are others out doing the same
We all compete for the grain
I’m never thanked for my endless tasks
After all I’m a rodent
But better than a rat
My kittens look at me with pride and joy
Seeking guidance into the wild
For a chance to survive
At this point I should be proud
If only my mind would allow it
Instead of the grey looming cloud
I will survive the wild
My strength will see me through
What else is there to do?