Category Archives: Anxiety

Dear Jono #poetry #poem

You brought me nothing but sorrow

The day the police arrested you

Was the day I thought I was finally free!

But I did not foresee the nightmares and flashbacks that you left with me

Eight years later and I’m still not free

Even though you may have gone

You are an unwanted quest

In my mind that still can’t rest

I don’t feel anger or shame

But I must admit you are to blame

Actually NO

That’s lame

It’s just that life will never be the same

Nightmare! #poetry #poem

My life was once a mess

I realised this was a test

One day I awoke

This is a serious joke!

Something must be done

I was done with this one

At last I knew I deserved better

This wasn’t how it’s meant to be!

I was treated like shite

Why would this be right?

I was low in confidence

My head is going to blow

I craved alcohol and coke

This was my way

It wasn’t the way

but it did help me on my way

The nightmares of abuse are so intrusive

The day after makes me feel illusive

Years on I found and loved myself

This was when of course I found this man

Who took me as I am

No pretend

I am most definitely on the mend

I’m not quite there

But in time

With this man of mine

Sometimes I am sad

But bear in mind

The life I once had

This man is so kind

It’s hard when I see my life in rewind

It’s hard to see his faith in me

but we both agree it’s meant to be

Time and therapy are a great healer

I need sleep #poem #poetry

I can’t sleep at night
Thinking what is right
He lies next to me in bed
Not realising my head is a shed
His lies have destroyed us
But I don’t like to make a fuss

He’s all loving and more
I just want him out the door
He said I could message her
As he was telling the truth
I got drunk one night and did just that
I wish I never did
But it did confirm
That he was full of shit
I cant forgive him
Although I tried
I honestly have no more tears to cry

Our appointment with the Counsellor seemed so far away
Will I be able to let him stay?

I’m not sure what I want anymore
This man I once adored
Has made me feel insecure and unsure

Another Full Moon #poetry #poem

Another full moon
Is it me being a loon?
This time I’m not drinking
Nothing to help drown out this over thinking
My head and heart are pounding
Only feeling safe in the familiar surroundings
I want to be able to go out without the panic
The thought of the cinema or meeting a friend
Makes me feel manic
I know the cycle will repeat
Unless
I can keeping stepping out on the street
One step at a time
I don’t want to be left behind

Motherhood #poetry #poem

Life is precious
People having little understanding of the pressure pregnancy brings
Being the carrier, provider, bearer, deliverer
That’s just for starters

Then comes the main
Feeding, cleaning, showing life’s meaning
Keeping their hearts gleaming
Loving every moment
Then you get tired, irritable and stressed
The best you can do is put on the act
Feelings of elation can quickly turn to deflation
Life changes, the house needs rearranging
Valuables and heavies moved out the way
They can be put back one day
As tired as one can be, then they look at you
Heart melting, this isn’t pretending
Awake at night, scared they are out of sight
Are they breathing? Are they alright?
Then you hear the babble, the cry
Sigh
Of course, they are all right

For dessert is this pudding
The one you adore, love and cherish
Watch them explore, grow and express who they really are
They become individual, original and vocal
Mum, can you wipe my bum?
Mum, but why?
Mum, how do you know everything?
These questions come to try you
But you know you would never change a thing
You become friends, share laughter, secrets and tears
Your bond is fixed, even when unexpected things are thrown in to the mix

The process starts again
Your daughter
Your friend
Is about to take her journey of motherhood
This time you are there to support, advise and share your wisely ways of your very own nursing days

Battle of the Booze #poetry #poem

10 days since my last drink
9 days since I thought I was dying

I went to the pub and ordered a wine
My body did not feel fine
Meduim white, with a splash

Usually its a large red
The wine on the table made me feel sick

Heart racing, thinking why am I drinking?
I read my book
Prescription for the heart, body and soul

Another sip I take, another poem I read
There’s no reason to panic, there’s no need
I continue to drink and read

I feel more relaxed
I don’t feel like I’m going to collapse

Then comes the next day
And repeat of
I think I’m going to die